I was increasingly coming to mini-crisis points but did not have the self-awareness or support to effectively deal with them.

Sometimes we carry on because we’re too scared to stop, We’re worried about what others might say if we admitted what is really going on or not going on inside us. Sometimes there is such an accumulation of past experiences and hurts that in the end something snaps. That’s what happened to me.

I was effectively running on empty and needed a major re-set.

As family and church pressures intensified, eventually, it was like an elastic band snapped in my head. I couldn’t take any more.

That was over three years ago now and much healing and help has been needed.

We now live in Folkestone and help and support one of the local churches here.

Another part of my story is that twice in my Christian ministry, I’ve been led to work alongside a Christian leader who has been going through a very difficult time. On both occasions, I too was experiencing difficulties. I came alongside them, not with answers or solutions but just offering my brokenness and support.

That in essence is what re-set is about.

I do not have any magic answers or solutions but I know what it is like. I know that there are so many Christian leaders who are just hanging on in there.

I also know that help and support is notionally there. However, can you really go to your bishop, superintendent, regional or network minister and effectively admit you are not able to do your job?

Again, I know from conversations that this avenue is not always pursued.

So what can I do?

First of all, let’s be clear what I can’t do or don’t want to do.

I am not a counsellor.

I am not a performance or business coach.

I am not a church consultant.

I am not a line manager.

I am not a spiritual director.

So what does that leave?

I can be a companion as we explore together what a re-set may mean to you and seek to identify a path forwards.

And yes of course, there are approaches and tools from all the above roles that are available to us to use in this process.

I have recently become a life coach to help us explore together your values, aspirations and dreams. Was there perhaps a point a departure from them? Was it a crisis or has it been a process? What are the strains and stresses we suffer when we are operating away from our values and dreams?

At the heart of everything is actually something far more profound and that is soul-care – yours!